Success and Self-improvement Principles -- Celebrate Every Victory—Especially if You're Progressing Slowly

By Denise Miller Holmes

Most of the time, Americans get very excited about accomplishing a goal in record time. Fast is in vogue, baby! But, reaching a goal slowly can be powerful and leave you feeling like a bookworm in a bookstore…tingly all over.

To convince you that slow is as useful as fast—and sometimes better—I’ve picked an example that most of us can relate to and can be applied to most achievement situations—dieting.

Right now, in this country, tens of thousands are dieting and losing weight. Most of these people believe in fast methods. I used to be one of them. But, ten years ago,  after being diagnosed with metabolic syndrome and experiencing profound frustration in losing excess weight permanently, I decided to cease extreme dieting and to begin using portion control for slow weight loss.

Slow weight loss sounds insane to many because a fast weight loss is rewarding and, therefore, motivating. If you see the loss in a small time frame, it’s something to celebrate. Woo-hoo!

The problems with the fast method are 1) you regain it back quickly and, 2) after the diet is over, you never want to see a treadmill or a head of lettuce for the rest of your life. Thus, fast diets make it difficult to create new, healthy habits because those kind of habits take time and practice to become permanent.

The slow approach to weight loss, however, shines when it comes to forming new, healthy habits. Also, the pain of eating food you hate is eliminated. I ate foods I enjoyed, and, as time went on, I ate certain foods, such as sodas and french fries, less and less. 

The slow technique can be used for any success goal, especially if that goal seems overwhelming. 

The slow-but-steady technique is not new. You’ve heard the expression “slow and steady wins the race” from the story about the tortoise and the hare, where everyone bets on the hare to win the race because he’s so fast. But in this story, there’s a surprise. The hare loses energy and focus. The slow-and-steady tortoise triumphs!

After reading some diet pundit’s opinion that slow weight loss diminishes the yo-yo effect and weight re-gain, I was sold. My slow weight loss has brought me close to eighty-five pounds off my bod in the last ten years (am I’m still losing). I’ve found maintaining between each weight-loss cycle is easy.

So getting back to the title, how did I keep myself motivated and persevering as I built this kingdom of health? I celebrated each pound I lost. Each time I weighed, I’d tell my hubby the new weight number. We’d both get excited and yell a whoop-de-do. I’d call him at work and say the new number into his voice mail, and he’d call back and say the same number to me. It felt exhilarating!

So, if pedal-to-the-metal isn’t working for you, if you’ve become the exhausted hare lying prone on the side of the road, try the tortoise way. I believe that slow and steady does win, especially when each step forward is celebrated.

If the fast method works for you then do that. If not, then the slow-and-steady method works great. Do what you need to do to achieve your goal.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. – 1 Cor 9:24

Success Principles -- Influence: A Key Component of Success

By Denise Miller Holmes

The ability to influence people’s beliefs and actions is absolutely a powerful component of success. And, the example of Founding Father Samuel Adams (second cousin to Founding Father John Quincy Adams), and bold citizen of the colony of Massachusetts, shows us certain smart tools he used to convince the Royal Governor to remove two regimens of British soldiers from Boston.

Let’s look at the incident that Sam Adams responded to in order to make profound change—the Boston Massacre. Then, we’ll analyze the tools he used to influence the Elite’s decision-making.

In 1770, a British soldier accidentally discharged his musket into a Boston crowd. A melee ensued, and after the confusion ended, five people were found dead. This crisis gave Sam Adams all he needed to push for change and actually be heard.

The publicity of this “massacre” went all over the colonies and filled the local Boston papers. Soon after, there was a throng of three thousand protestors who gathered around an old Boston church. The protesters insisted that both regimens of British soldiers leave Boston.

The problem was that the Royal Governor—Thomas Hutchinson—was in favor of keeping the Brits in control of Massachusetts. So, there was little hope of relieving Boston of oppression.

However, Adams, a local congressman, saw his opportunity to make change. First, as soon as the fallout from the Boston Massacre was clear, he began gathering petition signatures in order to convince the governor to expel the Brits.

During the three-thousand-strong protest, Adams asked for an audience with Governor Hutchinson and got it. When Adams delivered the petition, he verbally requested that the regimens be removed, then said this:  

I am in fashion and out of fashion, as the whim goes. I will stand alone. I will oppose this tyranny at the threshold, though the fabric of liberty fall, and I perish in its ruins!

I only understood about half of that quote, but let’s just say it was similar to Patrick Henry’s, “Give me liberty or give me death!”

Now let’s take a looksee at why Hutchinson figured out his goose was cooked and agreed to expel the British from Boston. You might be surprised to find out it was tools and techniques that saved the day. These strategies are still viable in modern times, so pay attention:

1. Excellent Communications and Persuasion Skills
   Adams was known in Boston as the owner of the newspaper, The Independent Advertiser, and as a skilled writer. He persuaded with opinion pieces that addressed the angst of the day and exposed the actions of the Crown in America.
   The people of Boston also knew him as a persuasive orator, who could give an engaging speech. Perhaps that was because he was a local congressman and was practiced in debate and persuasion. (I will suggest some books at the end of this article that will teach these skills.)
2. Social Proof
   Adams used the Social Proof principle to overwhelm resistance. He struck his verbal blow with three thousand protestors outside, and a signed petition with substantial enough numbers that the governor could not ignore the fact that he must act.
3. Passion
   Adams’s speech to the governor has been described as impassioned. His statement that he was immovable and would stand against the British occupation, no matter who disagreed with him, increased his influence over people’s thoughts and actions. It’s difficult to walk away from people who are boldly passionate. You tend to want to stand with them. It wasn’t only his verbal skills that were impassioned, his actions were also fervent. He struck when the iron was white-hot. Perfect timing!
   Passion fuels the flame of any message and a little goes a long way. Use it, but use it wisely.
4. Act During a Crisis
   This is another tool that must be used carefully. You’ve heard the axiom, “Never let a crisis go to waste,” attributed to Winston Churchill. This is the axiom that Adams used intelligently.
   The Boston Massacre and the subsequent protest of three thousand were the crises he needed to open the ears of the powerful. (To be clear, there is no evidence of a riot at the protest site, only a protest!)
   An activist must be self-disciplined to use this tool and know how to aim it at the problem. Adams knew persuasion and oratory before the crisis, so it was not a high learning curve to act while the iron was hot.
   A note of caution: there are the unscrupulous out there that will create a crisis to get what they want, even if it causes death. Oh so naughty. Don’t do that!

Before you despair with an I-can’t-do-what-Sam-Adams-did attitude, remember that these tools and techniques are skills you can learn. I learned about Social Proof from the book called Influence by Robert B. Cialdini. He has six other tools besides Social Proof to use to persuade others. Powerful book!

I have a cool book called Writing to Persuade: How to Bring People Over to Your Side, by Trish Hall, and a great book on public speaking, Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln, by James C. Humes.

So, let go of the tired “I can’t” belief. Successful people know this stuff. They had to learn it. You can too. And when you do, be prepared for a self-image boost. When you hear yourself thinking “I can”, you’ll know your new knowledge is giving you confidence. As Martha Stewart says, “That’s a good thing!”

Historical Note: Thomas Jefferson defended the soldiers who (accidentally) started the Massacre. They were found “not guilty.

Success and Self-improvement Principles -- Wisdom from Around the World

Knock Down Obstacles, then Succeed
“The virtuous person focuses first on the obstacles that must be overcome in an endeavor, and success should be his secondary consideration: this is called perfect virtue.”—Confucius, 551-479 B.C.E., Chapter 6, The Analects

Distracted by Comfort
“Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.”—Thomas Jefferson

High Wisdom
“The highest form of wisdom is kindness.”—The Talmud

Aim for Quality
When you’re out of quality, you’re out of business.”—Anonymous

Success and Self-improvement Principles--Is Learning Business, Sales, and Marketing Skills Worth the Effort for the Wannabe Achiever?

In his book, Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Guy Kawasaki said that everyone who wants success should learn sales skills.

Think about it, no matter who you are or where you are in life, you are constantly selling yourself. When you meet your child’s teacher, you have to present yourself as a sane, clean human being. (For some of us, that’s harder than for others.) And when we debate with our spouse about where little Bo Squiggly Jr. should go to school, we must know how to sell our idea. That means using the right words, the right way, to ensure we are truly heard. Knowing how to do that can bring much success and satisfaction to one’s life.

Kawasaki says learning how to sell pushes us to overcome fear—and that brings confidence. These strengths alone will change your life for the better.

And, of course, there are those of us who have to learn sales and other business principles in order to do our jobs. Writing is one of those arenas.

When the writers group, Words for the Journey, was still holding brick-and-mortar meetings, I would remind them that marketing and sales is part of being a professional author. They would groan. Most writers want to write creative stories, and leave it at that. However, the frustration of not achieving “published” status can wear a writer thin. Eventually, a wannabe-published creative has to learn how to pitch her ideas effectively. Groan.

So, the answer to the title question is, yes. And sales is just the start of business principles that will help you achieve and even raise your quality of life. 

In addition to sales skills, there is also the ability to reach your audience effectively using marketing and publicity. There is public speaking (something the uninitiated are terrified of)—the online version of which is YouTube videos.  And then there is more, such as hiring assistants, and growing your writing business (the term for this is scalability).

What vehicle will you use to spread the word about your novel, or that pretty widget you produce in your garage, or your ideas on how the PTA can better serve students? (Myself, I’m using a newsletter!)

Learn business principles, but start with sales techniques. For every move forward, you will need to use words and sales techniques to persuade some gatekeeper, boss, or customer that has the power to stop you or grant you access. Start at sales. Sales techniques will help you sell that novel, widget or idea. You’ll find out that knowledge is power, and sales skills open doors.

And if you aren’t planning to be in business, remember that sales principles help you navigate LIFE.