Success and Self-improvement Principles -- Celebrate Every Victory—Especially if You're Progressing Slowly

By Denise Miller Holmes

Most of the time, Americans get very excited about accomplishing a goal in record time. Fast is in vogue, baby! But, reaching a goal slowly can be powerful and leave you feeling like a bookworm in a bookstore…tingly all over.

To convince you that slow is as useful as fast—and sometimes better—I’ve picked an example that most of us can relate to and can be applied to most achievement situations—dieting.

Right now, in this country, tens of thousands are dieting and losing weight. Most of these people believe in fast methods. I used to be one of them. But, ten years ago,  after being diagnosed with metabolic syndrome and experiencing profound frustration in losing excess weight permanently, I decided to cease extreme dieting and to begin using portion control for slow weight loss.

Slow weight loss sounds insane to many because a fast weight loss is rewarding and, therefore, motivating. If you see the loss in a small time frame, it’s something to celebrate. Woo-hoo!

The problems with the fast method are 1) you regain it back quickly and, 2) after the diet is over, you never want to see a treadmill or a head of lettuce for the rest of your life. Thus, fast diets make it difficult to create new, healthy habits because those kind of habits take time and practice to become permanent.

The slow approach to weight loss, however, shines when it comes to forming new, healthy habits. Also, the pain of eating food you hate is eliminated. I ate foods I enjoyed, and, as time went on, I ate certain foods, such as sodas and french fries, less and less. 

The slow technique can be used for any success goal, especially if that goal seems overwhelming. 

The slow-but-steady technique is not new. You’ve heard the expression “slow and steady wins the race” from the story about the tortoise and the hare, where everyone bets on the hare to win the race because he’s so fast. But in this story, there’s a surprise. The hare loses energy and focus. The slow-and-steady tortoise triumphs!

After reading some diet pundit’s opinion that slow weight loss diminishes the yo-yo effect and weight re-gain, I was sold. My slow weight loss has brought me close to eighty-five pounds off my bod in the last ten years (am I’m still losing). I’ve found maintaining between each weight-loss cycle is easy.

So getting back to the title, how did I keep myself motivated and persevering as I built this kingdom of health? I celebrated each pound I lost. Each time I weighed, I’d tell my hubby the new weight number. We’d both get excited and yell a whoop-de-do. I’d call him at work and say the new number into his voice mail, and he’d call back and say the same number to me. It felt exhilarating!

So, if pedal-to-the-metal isn’t working for you, if you’ve become the exhausted hare lying prone on the side of the road, try the tortoise way. I believe that slow and steady does win, especially when each step forward is celebrated.

If the fast method works for you then do that. If not, then the slow-and-steady method works great. Do what you need to do to achieve your goal.

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. – 1 Cor 9:24

Jokes -- Uncle Jerry's Jokes

 by Denise Miller Holmes

You have to adapt
Q: How does a one-armed man tie his shoe?
A: Single-handedly.


Maybe she needs a Valium
Q: What sits on the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck


Making it harder than it needs to be
Did you hear about the man who loved the sound of the clapping together of two coconut shells? He wanted to reproduce the sound, but he didn’t have two coconut shells. So, he grabbed his neighbor’s horse and led him along the town’s only cobblestone street. See? You can figure anything out if you put your mind to it.

A man has questions, a wallet has answers
I, Uncle Jerry, love my wife and children: Wanda, little Joey and little Marta. I keep a wallet in my pocket, with our family photo in it whenever I go to work at the Martian salt mines. Life here on Mars is expensive, so whenever I get stressed and ask myself, “where is the money going?” I open my wallet and see the reason it is empty—Wanda, little Joey and little Marta!


Flattery will always work
Q: What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
A: Looking sharp!

Person of Interest -- Writer Thomas Jefferson and His Penchant to Work in His Pajamas

 by Denise Miller Holmes

Okay, almost all of us writers know the delight of staying in our pajamas while we create at our laptops. Thomas Jefferson, sans laptop, had the same joy—to people’s chagrin.

I confess, I work in what I sleep in. Sometimes, I wear no pants. (TMI!)

So, when I read in the book, The Secret Lives of the U.S. Presidents, by Cormac O’Brien, that Thomas Jefferson worked in his pajamas when he was president, I felt a kinship.

Writers commonly work in their nightwear, or other types of comfy clothing such as velour running suits, or boxers and t-shirts, or coffee-stained robes. You get the idea.

What is even funnier, Jefferson, while president, actually entertained dignitaries in his p.j.’s. He’d answer the door in them, invite the ambassador in for coffee, and act like this was all perfectly normal. These people had appointments, so, it wasn’t a mistake—he just didn’t care!

But let’s learn from Jefferson. Because the dignitaries saw meeting them in his pajamas as an insult and a profound act of disrespect, let’s put our pants on when the doorbell rings, okay? Or perhaps, a top hat.

Success Principles -- Influence: A Key Component of Success

By Denise Miller Holmes

The ability to influence people’s beliefs and actions is absolutely a powerful component of success. And, the example of Founding Father Samuel Adams (second cousin to Founding Father John Quincy Adams), and bold citizen of the colony of Massachusetts, shows us certain smart tools he used to convince the Royal Governor to remove two regimens of British soldiers from Boston.

Let’s look at the incident that Sam Adams responded to in order to make profound change—the Boston Massacre. Then, we’ll analyze the tools he used to influence the Elite’s decision-making.

In 1770, a British soldier accidentally discharged his musket into a Boston crowd. A melee ensued, and after the confusion ended, five people were found dead. This crisis gave Sam Adams all he needed to push for change and actually be heard.

The publicity of this “massacre” went all over the colonies and filled the local Boston papers. Soon after, there was a throng of three thousand protestors who gathered around an old Boston church. The protesters insisted that both regimens of British soldiers leave Boston.

The problem was that the Royal Governor—Thomas Hutchinson—was in favor of keeping the Brits in control of Massachusetts. So, there was little hope of relieving Boston of oppression.

However, Adams, a local congressman, saw his opportunity to make change. First, as soon as the fallout from the Boston Massacre was clear, he began gathering petition signatures in order to convince the governor to expel the Brits.

During the three-thousand-strong protest, Adams asked for an audience with Governor Hutchinson and got it. When Adams delivered the petition, he verbally requested that the regimens be removed, then said this:  

I am in fashion and out of fashion, as the whim goes. I will stand alone. I will oppose this tyranny at the threshold, though the fabric of liberty fall, and I perish in its ruins!

I only understood about half of that quote, but let’s just say it was similar to Patrick Henry’s, “Give me liberty or give me death!”

Now let’s take a looksee at why Hutchinson figured out his goose was cooked and agreed to expel the British from Boston. You might be surprised to find out it was tools and techniques that saved the day. These strategies are still viable in modern times, so pay attention:

1. Excellent Communications and Persuasion Skills
   Adams was known in Boston as the owner of the newspaper, The Independent Advertiser, and as a skilled writer. He persuaded with opinion pieces that addressed the angst of the day and exposed the actions of the Crown in America.
   The people of Boston also knew him as a persuasive orator, who could give an engaging speech. Perhaps that was because he was a local congressman and was practiced in debate and persuasion. (I will suggest some books at the end of this article that will teach these skills.)
2. Social Proof
   Adams used the Social Proof principle to overwhelm resistance. He struck his verbal blow with three thousand protestors outside, and a signed petition with substantial enough numbers that the governor could not ignore the fact that he must act.
3. Passion
   Adams’s speech to the governor has been described as impassioned. His statement that he was immovable and would stand against the British occupation, no matter who disagreed with him, increased his influence over people’s thoughts and actions. It’s difficult to walk away from people who are boldly passionate. You tend to want to stand with them. It wasn’t only his verbal skills that were impassioned, his actions were also fervent. He struck when the iron was white-hot. Perfect timing!
   Passion fuels the flame of any message and a little goes a long way. Use it, but use it wisely.
4. Act During a Crisis
   This is another tool that must be used carefully. You’ve heard the axiom, “Never let a crisis go to waste,” attributed to Winston Churchill. This is the axiom that Adams used intelligently.
   The Boston Massacre and the subsequent protest of three thousand were the crises he needed to open the ears of the powerful. (To be clear, there is no evidence of a riot at the protest site, only a protest!)
   An activist must be self-disciplined to use this tool and know how to aim it at the problem. Adams knew persuasion and oratory before the crisis, so it was not a high learning curve to act while the iron was hot.
   A note of caution: there are the unscrupulous out there that will create a crisis to get what they want, even if it causes death. Oh so naughty. Don’t do that!

Before you despair with an I-can’t-do-what-Sam-Adams-did attitude, remember that these tools and techniques are skills you can learn. I learned about Social Proof from the book called Influence by Robert B. Cialdini. He has six other tools besides Social Proof to use to persuade others. Powerful book!

I have a cool book called Writing to Persuade: How to Bring People Over to Your Side, by Trish Hall, and a great book on public speaking, Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln, by James C. Humes.

So, let go of the tired “I can’t” belief. Successful people know this stuff. They had to learn it. You can too. And when you do, be prepared for a self-image boost. When you hear yourself thinking “I can”, you’ll know your new knowledge is giving you confidence. As Martha Stewart says, “That’s a good thing!”

Historical Note: Thomas Jefferson defended the soldiers who (accidentally) started the Massacre. They were found “not guilty.

Fun Facts -- Fun Facts About the United States

By Denise Miller Holmes

Did you know that the word “independence”

does not appear in the body of the DOI even once!

Friends for life, sort of
Thomas Jefferson and John Adams were best friends…almost for life. When they were working together in the colonial congress, they were best friends. But when John Adams became POTUS (President of the U. S.), they stopped speaking even though Jefferson was Vice President. Many years after Adams’s presidency, a mutual friend got the two founders back together and they became close once more. They both died on the same day—July 4, 1826.

Who wrote the DOI?
Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence. It was John Quincy Adams who chose him to be the author. There was a committee (that included Adams and Jefferson) who decided the major concepts of the document, but it was Jefferson who made it cohesive and lent it his artful prose. I bet he had a Snickers candy bar after he was finished—truly hard work!

The United States is a country, and so much more
The United States of America is a federal constitutional republic. It covers 3.79 million square miles of dirt. Some say it’s pretty dirt, with amber waves of grain and all that. I happen to agree. =)

Where am I?
When Christopher Columbus hit the islands off the east coast of what we now call “the United States of America,” the ill-informed explorer thought he’d hit the sub-continent of India, which is why he called the natives “Indians.” Funny thing is, at his death several years later, he still believed the same thing. Don’t you think he should have figured it out by then?

Different than we thought
Most of us believe that the Declaration of Independence was signed by all the signatories on July 4, 1776. Truth is, only Thomas Jefferson and Charles Thompson signed it on that date, with the rest signing it in drips and drabs for another month.