"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." ~Lucille Ball
There are many articles on the internet about this month's theme--Healthy Aging. What strikes me hardest is the sudden patronizing tone articles take when the target audience is 55 plus. I'm older, not stupid.
Here is my parody of said articles on Healthy Aging.
Five Tips for Staying Young!
1. Remember to eat. Food has this thing called "nutrition" (new-trish-un) and eating good food is how you got to be this old in the first place.
2. Drink plenty of water. If you don't drink water, you'll shrivel up and die.
3. Stay active. Learn to play the trombone. Smell flowers. If you're rich, try a daily walk around your pool. That's it . . . now you're active!
"Age is not important unless you're a cheese." ~Helen Hayes
4. Call a friend. Try to talk to people, even if it's just for five minutes a day. Many studies show that interaction with people will add at least three years to your life (unless they're scary people, then they'll kill you early!).
5. Handle depression immediately. Talk to your doctor. He won't talk back to you, but he'll give you a pill and, yay, you won't be depressed anymore!
Thus ends my parody on Healthy Aging articles. :D
Happy Healthy Aging Month, y'all!
"The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible." ~Judith Regan
"Eating food is necessary to stay alive," says Dr. Wise of the
MAAI (Martian Anti-Aging Initiative)
(Photo: Morguefile)
(Photo: Morguefile)
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