Friday

Jokes -- Uncle Jerry's Jokes

By Denise Miller Holmes


I am happy to give you another installment of Uncle Jerry’s Jokes. He is still diligently archiving every joke and funny story he runs across as he trudges down the salt-mining tunnels of Mars. I am right now crossing my fingers that y’all get a kick out of them.


The intelligence quotient on Venus
So many Earthers disrespect the Venusians because of their population’s low IQ. Do you know what the numbers 1776 and 1492 have in common on Venus? They are adjoining rooms at the Venusian Deluxe Hotel. I can’t wait to stay there.


Cleaning house on another planet
On Mars, there are dust storms and, therefore, a lot of dust in peoples’ homes. But Uncle Jerry says he threw his vacuum cleaner away the other day because it was just collecting dust.


Substitutes are okay if you don’t have the real thing
Uncle Jerry's extended family has owned a hardware store for as long as he can remember. It doesn’t surprise me that he’s had a step ladder for a long time. Sadly, he told me with a tear in his eye, he never knew his real ladder.


Lamenting cement
When you mix quick-drying cement, there are many hard-and-fast rules. 

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